she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
