would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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