How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I think my fart just growled at me.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
