When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
