There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize