Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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