why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
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I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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