so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
