Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
