We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
