Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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