I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
