Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
How does it feel to date your dad?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
