I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
