During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
