dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
