His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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