he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
