so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
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seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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