Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
