no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
