The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
