please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
