have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize