garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
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