you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
If I die, sorry about rent.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
