and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Blood and glitter go together right?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
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