Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
