It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
