and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
this boner is exhausting
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it's like iHOP with fire
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
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You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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