Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
