they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
