My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
