Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
