I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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