Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize