We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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