Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
