Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
