I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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