And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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