Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
