Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
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