Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
