Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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