woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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