I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
