i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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