wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
