Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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