I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
