I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
PANTIES FOUND
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