Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
