direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
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