textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
