the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
