I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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