Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
