Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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