The beer is more important than you right now.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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