yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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