I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
