Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Randomize
