If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
