So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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